Father

Makassar, May, 10^th 2013

     My dad turned 50^th years old this year. He’s getting old. He’s a half of a century.

I’m 17^th years old today. And Dad had tried his best to make me happy. He gave me money. Even tho I don’t want it. Cause I know Dad worked hard to get the money.

But I received the money cause I don’t wanna hurt his feeling. I saved the money instead of treated my friends at school.

Like what our family do year by year, we took a dinner at restaurant, cause it’s my special day. Dad is the one planned it. He did it for me.

I went along with him even tho I don’t want it too. Dinner at restaurant means paid more than usual.

Actually I just wanna stay at home with family so Dad won’t paid anything. But he still wanna make him happy.

Dad is kind. But his daughter isn’t.

Dad had worked hard to fulfil family’s needs but what his daughter has done is nothing.

Dad is getting older. I should be the one who comfort him in his old age, beside mom.

I feel sorry to myself for being useless for dad. I never treat him well. I’m being a cold kid in front of him. 

Sometimes I ignore him when he asked, I didn’t do what he told me to do, I didn’t laugh nor just respond if he made jokes, I didn’t pay attention to him when  he talked. Can I be more rebellious than this ?

I feel burdensome everytime I ask for Dad’s help because I can never thank him for what has he done for me. I don’t know, it’s so hard to say a simple “thank you” to him. I always want to say that L

I cant say that I love him for being my Dad for the same reason. I want Dad to know it. But words will never come out from my mouth.

I just wanna make him happy once as long as he’s still with me.

I  wanna say thanks to Dad for being the best father ever.

I wanna say thanks to Dad for making me happy all the time.

I want him to feel proud of me.

I want him to stop worrying me and think of himself.

I want Dad to know that I wanna cry everytime he does something for me when I actually still being a bad kid.

I wanna be a good daughter to Dad.

I wanna have the braveness to tell this all to Dad.

I want to tell Dad that I love him.