Things I Like About Myself

March, 3rd 2016
20:45

I’m not the most confident person in the world. I’m actually one of the worst. I’m fully aware of my lacking, and I don’t really like the negativity I have in me about mysef. I always talk about myself in a negative way, and this blog is the exact proof of it. I’ve written many posts talking about how sad my my life is. I could easily list down things I don’t like about myself without hesitation, but I’m always having a hard time mention things that I like or proud of about myself.

I don’t know being so negative about yourself could be so tiring. Yes, it’s a tiring job judging yourself every single day. It worn me out, physically and emotionally. Why people have to focus too much on the negativity they have. Me as someone who included as one couldn’t really understand it, either.

So I will do something that is very hard to do. I want to list down things that I actually like about myself. It’s either to make me feel better or to knock some senses into my head. World probably isn’t that cruel to me if I want to think about some positivity. I could just think of some unicorns jumping happily on clouds and rainbows or any other soft stuffs exist in this world. 

Things that I like about myself:

1. I like that I'm actually good in english. It’s like one of the best weapon I have. I’ve received plenty of compliments from my friends about my skill and I think have to walk back to the past to remember and reminisce those moments again because I never really feel so great when I’m being complimented by people. And for my english improvement, all thanks to my father. 
2. I like the fact that I love animals so much. Loving animals give me this affectionate feel towards something and it feels good. It makes me feel that something is actually worth to be protected. I will never understand human who even have the guts to hurt those precious things. 
3. I like that I'm actually could blend in pretty well with new classmates. Sometimes I could feel myself being more comfortable with stranger than people I’m close with. So I guess that explains all. 
4. I like that I'm easily feel touched. I’ve always been a soft-hearted person. I act all tough but I’m actually a softie in the heart. I get teary at the most simple thing happened sometimes it’s upsetting. But at least it makes me feel like a human. 
5. I like that I'm a cry baby. Because the feeling after crying is good, so I like it. At least I don’t have to hold back my tears as well. I’m not that strong. 
6. I like that I can sing quite well. LMAO I believe no ones agree to this. 
7. I like that I usually pretend that I don't care but actually try to understand things by myself. I’m not one to straight forwardly ask to something that I’m curious about. If I think I can find the answer by myself, then I make an effort for it. 
8. I like that I got chance to listen and appreciate good music in different languages. I used to be kind of racist to any other songs that is not Indonesian or English, until I got my karma. A karma that let me find good talents on amazing people that I will feel regret if I have never got to know them and help me extend my music reference/dictionary. No regret.
9. I like the fact that I’m quite tall. I’m only 161cm. This probably doesn’t count as tall but at least I’m not too short. Thanks puberty. At least you gave me one good thing that I can be thankful for. 
10. I like that I'm in love spending time in bookshop. Bookshop smells like heaven even though I don’t know how heaven smells like. But I like being surrounded and feel getting lost in the hundreds of books. 
11. I like that I've learned psychology for almost two years now. Psychology might not be my first choice. But learning psychology has helped me figure out many things that I’ve been so curious about for a long time, figure out things more about myself. I’ve got my answers. It’s not a waste at all. 
12. I like how I really love cute stuffs. Cute stuffs make me squeal like a little girl and happy. I want to be surrounded by cute stuffs and feel excited everytime I see them and being a happy little kid that I believe still stuck in my 19 years old body. Japan is life goal to me. 
13. I like how I love writing so much. I’m not talking too much. So I express everything that I feel through my writing. People won’t understand me through the way I talk, but they will do if they read my writings. 
14. I like that I live in a financially stable family. Not that rich but not poor either. I live as a hardcore fangirl, and there's always so many stuffs that makes me want to spend all my money for them. If I was a rich-ass daughter living in a mansion-like house, I would've spent all my money on those stuffs that actually not very beneficial for me. That thought is terrifying. Live as a person with calculation forced me to control what to buy and what to not buy, what is important and what is not. And it convince myself that those temptation stuffs shouldn't be worried and thought about.
15. I like that I like spending my time alone. No particular reason. But I feel safe whenever I’m alone.   
16. I like that I’m open to things that is unusual or what people think are ‘forbidden’. Many people admit that they’re open-minded, but screams in disgust and disbelief when they hear the word ‘gay’ ‘transgender’ ‘prostitute’ ‘illegitimate child’ or sorts. Open-minded, your ass. Try to understand their situation first before you call yourself open-minded. 
17. I like that I actually try to make effort to list down what I like about myself. I made my effort, didn’t I? It’s not easy, excuse me.

So those are some things that I think are likeable about me. I’m not sure if I’m feeling better about this but I’m glad I’ve finished this. I will back to this post and read it whenever I’m feeling down in the future. I probably will laugh so hard and cringe at the confidence I have to write this stuff. Self-praise is not my thing and that’s sad. 

Please kick me or anything if I’m about to delete this post in the future if I feel too embarrassed, haha.