Puzzled

December, 21st 2013
00:46


     Good very very very morning :)

     Tomorrow is mom's birthday and I really don't know what to do. Well, It doesn't seems like I always do something like giving her birthday cake, a surprise party or sort of things like that on her birthday but, I just feel like I have to do something this time.

     I have never being a good kid to my parents, and because now it's about my mom, then it's to my mom. Last year, I only wished her a happy birthday shyly, and clumsy. And last year I made her disappointed with my raport result.

     Well actually my raport result wasn't that bad. But mom expected me higher rank which I couldn't get it because I was in a pioneer class :(
 
     And today is my raport day, AND I'M SO FCKIN NERVOUS RN. I anticipated and expecting good results. Well, I need it. At least mom will be happy with that. But seeing my study for a half semester, I don't think I'll get a good rank. Last semester, I got rank 10th.

     CAN I JUST STAY AT RANK 10TH CAN I PLEASEEEEEE

     Amin.

     I'm talking nonsense right now because I'm a bit drunk. I cant sleep well actually I can but I just cant... sleep ! Insomnia is bothering sometimes. I'm thinking about this mom birthday and raport result and its actually make me mentally breakdown. Look at how I'm writing, my grammar is horrible.

     I plan to buy mom some things like clothes or birthday cake or what, and give her a little surprise party at midnight, or giving her my all savings to live our lifes...

     But I have no money.

     Being a poor kid is hurt. Too hurt that I can't live my life anymore. I wanna kms.

     B y e.

     .....................................................................

     Sorry, I'm being a drama queen now.

     I bet this birthday thingy will end up have a sweet clumsy dinner in Ayam Penyet Ria or Lesehan Pak Dani with dad treat, as always. Every year, in every birthday of us. If I could I want to treat this time.

     But I have no money.

     The phrase "Money can't buy happiness" is invalid sometimes. Money DO can buy happiness, you jerk for whoever said that phrase !! Money can make my mom happy because I can buy her new clothes or a happy birthday cake !!!!!!

     /sigh deeply/

     The life of me.

     You guys may wish me all the best because I totally feel worst now. Wish me I'll get a better score in raport and wish my mom could be more happy on her birthday this year :') Thank you.