Sunday, September 29, 2019

the point is im ruined

Date:
u n k n o w n

i really need to consult.
it's been getting harder to handle pressure,
and i've been constantly avoiding any activities that require pressure.
i've lost so much opportunities.
i assured myself to just take it,
but i'm afraid i will mess it up.
so i gave them up instead.
i don't even know if i can get another chance in the future.
i'm scared because i cant be sure people will still be kind enough 
to offer me good things later.
i probably disappointed them already.
and i disappointed myself too.
it's hard.
wanting to blame something else but nothing i can blame but myself.
i should learn how to take pressure.
but i'm so scared.
i'm so afraid to become a failure.
i need to consult.
but even asking for help is hard to do.
i'm gonna die with all the pressures i have in my head.

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Maira Gall