Think Like Hong Seol

 

The scene above is one of those many scenes where I go like ‘Aah.. isn’t this me?’ ‘Why is this so me..’ ‘I totally can’t relate to this’, or sometimes I even have to curse under my breath when something I can relate to is not something very nice.

I watched this drama Cheese In The Trap recently, which is adapted from Soonkki’s manhwa/webtoon with the same title. Even though I don’t read the webtoon, I really enjoy the drama and the readers of the webtoon gave positive responses to the drama so it’s much likely recommended for everyone who’s interested. 

The story takes place in university background where an ordinary student Hong Seol (that girl with curly long hair) is a hardworker doing part-time jobs to afford her life, and have a weird; heart-fluttering relationship with a senior named Yoo Jung who is a kind-hearted guy and an expert in many aspects and always maintain a good image for himself. However, Yoo Jung also has a unpredictable dark side where he likes to take advantage of someone’s mistake to make them do something for him and feel all powerful towards them and got some people holding grudges against him. 

And one day Hong Seol found out that Yoo Jung did one of his ‘crime’ to help her getting her scholarship without her knowing all those times. Yoo Jung intended to help, but Hong Seol couldn’t just simply think of it as a simple help when he actually made someone else do wrong thing to make her get the scholarship. And she didn’t understand how could Yoo Jung think this is not a big deal. She wanted to be thankful, because the scholarship was indeed important to her and Yoo Jung was just trying to help. But it’s not a kind of help that she expected from him and what he did was wrong so it’s hard to thank him. Moreover, she was afraid that if Yoo Jung keep helping her like that, she will get used to it and she doesn’t want that.

Watching her saying those lines makes me had a little inner conflict. I don’t bring this scene into topic because I can relate to it. But more because I couldn’t understand some parts. Why is she get mad? Why she opposed him from helping her that way? If I was her I woud’ve been thankful to him why did she even care of the way he helped her? You got a help, that’s all that matters, isn’t it? I want someone to do that for me too.

The obvious contrast between the way Hong Seol thinks and the way I think is bothering me. I’m not gonna lie by saying that I don’t know how come such difference way of thinking exists, because I’m fully aware what makes people think like Hong Seol and why people think like me. 

People think like Hong Seol when they’re raised working hard on their own, nurtured in a strict environment, or taught to not accept help when they think they can do things on their own. They will internally think that they can provide themselves without others help, and only accept help when they really need it or feel don’t have the heart to reject the help. And they tend to be autonomous. They have skills to save their life, to survive a day and continue life. Because they’ve trained to face and handle the ups and downs in the form of reality. 

People think like me when they’re spoiled a lot; getting someone else doing things for them without even trying it first; got a quick response when they asked for something, they’re told they can’t do this can’t do that, or prohibited from doing things they want. People like this growing up become helpless. Always accept a helping hand with a bright face when it’s actually could destroy them if they keep doing that. Most spoiled people have a hard time to help themselves because they don’t even know what to do to save their live. That’s why others help is always needed for them. And so that they become dependable.  

I already know by now that I’m spoiled a lot by my parents since I was a kid. They always try to fulfill my wish even though it’s hard to do at the moment. Father will search for money and buy what I ask, give me money in a not so little amount, mother does the same. Father always instantly stand up when his kids call him and fulfill their request immediately, father doesn’t seem to understand that his action is making his kids become a lazy person and always depend on a help from others. Father and mother prohibit me doing many things that I want to try to do and tell me that I can’t do; I don’t suppose to do that. So I didn’t do that. And so that I become inexperienced and lack of skills. 

And now they tell me to go out and do productive activities rather than staying home all day. At my age now, I don’t have confidence anymore to be around skilled people and have bright intelligence at this early adult age. I don’t like feeling left out. 

The impact of being a spoiled kid is totally affected me at this age. Starting when I was entering college. I felt helpless around my friends who has skills, intelligence, and self-identity that could saved themselves in the future. People are moving fast. Thinking forward. And here I could hardly save myself and always begging for help, whining for it of the thought of incapability to do it myself. And the irony is, I already get used to it. I already get used of receiving help even when I don’t need it but I gladly accept it. That feels worst when you have to depend so much on others but you quietly enjoy it. This is another form of take advantage of someone else. But I believe I never intend it that way. 

What I’m saying is, if you’re Hong Seol type, be grateful. If you’re not, please reflect. 

If you ever want to have kids in the future, don’t spoil your kids too much. You’ll make them suffer in the future if you do. Raise them wisely, don’t make them feel regret ever been spoiled and be proud of it when it’s actually could complicate them if it keep going. Hard to survive, hard to blend in, hard to compete, this is definitely not something you want your child to experience. 

Be like Hong Seol. Think like Hong Seol. Independent person is the best.