You Agree

Makassar, May, 18th 2014


     "However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship."
                                                                                      -Albert Einstein-


     If you met your lover who turned your world upside down, then my bestfriends are enough for me to change my world. I never experienced be in a serious relationship before. No one ever confess to me, which is so sad. I know. Seeing your friend have that serious commitment with someone they love, or even when they're just playing around, that makes me envy a lot. For once, I want to feel that kind of feeling too. That feeling when you're in relationship with someone. Have a date and doing gross cliché stuffs like hug and kiss and I dont know, just be together?

     I want a soulmate.

     I fall in love once. That's a long time ago. When I met him I would feel so hot and nervous and sweating a lot, heart beats faster and my chest felt really tight, and I have butterflies in my stomatch. That feeling was amazing. The feeling of falling in love. I will do everything to make that feel comeback to me. Because I miss it. I have the best moment when I was in love. Everything seems so beautiful. It's like a sparkly paradise with pink unicorns jumping over double rainbows. Adoring him was like the best thing that I have ever done. Gross. Stupid. But that's how people are when they're falling in love. So do I.

     My crush could make me be a complete idiot, but he can never makes me feel like a real shit like my bestfriend do. Or not yet. I have some bestfriends. Four of my bestfriends are my sisters since I was born, my sisters who I grew up with since we were still in diapers, my sisters who support me in my ups and downs, my sisters who complain a lot about my habit but that's how they care about me, my sisters who makes me being myself when I'm around them, and my sisters who give colours into my gloomy life. Even though I hate them for hurting me so much without them even knowing, but losing them would be the worst thing that could happen to me.

     My two other bestfriends are my favorite type of pizza that I will can never resist. One of them is like a fairy Godmother to me. I shared a lot of my love life stories to her because she understands me the best. She is the one who gave advice to me and I would thank her after I tell everything to her. We have so much in common about this thing. We have joys and pains together but we're still awkward to each other when we meet but that's not a matter to both of us. The atmosphere might be awkward but I feel comfortable the most with her. Weird. I know. We are still crazy together.

     And the other one is the one who gave me a lot of stress and feels and emotions yet she's also gave me the best feeling ever of being her bestfriend. She's like a reflection of me. She's the one who turned my world upside down. This bestfriend. We have TOO much in common but we absolutely different. We fight a lot about a lot of things. I really hate it when we fight. It makes me feel bad and uneasy and feel guilty and sometimes I cried a lot when we fight. I can't think of anything anymore when we argued about our friendship. I hate it when I mad at her and vice versa because that's when I feel like I'm being a real shit. I'm easily mad at her for silly things and that's suck. I'm suck. I'm glad she's being my bestfriend that could understand my weird habit even though sometimes she just cant handle it anymore. Sometimes I would think, "Why am I her bestfriend again?" because I'm such a bad bestfriend to her. But yes we fight, and that's what makes us love each other even more. She's my best pal. She makes me feel what a real friendship is.
Hope everything will be alright soon.

     Sometimes I feel like having bestfriends in my life are enough for me. But I need a lover too. I mean duh, that's why God create us, right? To find a soulmate. Because soulmate will be the one who complete your life.

     Both bestfriend and soulmate are two important things that everyone need. You agree.


     "Well, it's like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don't make you a better person... you do that yourself-- because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens.. you'll always love them."

                                                                                                   -Dawson's Creek-