08:09
A comeback.
It's been months since the last time I posted something in this blog. Everything happened in the past four months passed like a blur but they're clear in mind. What's important is that I'm happier now, better, relieved. I've passed a challenge that I risked to take and it felt good. The feel of floating is still there but it's a part of process. It'll be gone soon.
One thing that I learned from everything I've been through is that I just have to go through it, thoroughly. No hesitation. Then with that I will find out how's the end of the road. It's either a good or a bad thing. But let's think about it later. I'm still on the way to figure out.
A happier me is becoming more excited of things I never really excited to. Stay outside, for example.
I've made it obvious that I love my bedroom a little bit too much and I miss it like it's my safest place to hide (in fact, it is).
Nowadays, going home after college feels so boring. When our class finished, I always hope some friends or family would ask me out to go somewhere fun, whether to eat or to walk around only. As long as I get someone drive for me, because I don't have my own vehicle yet I hope I could go out on my own.
I usually (most of the time) will reject my father's invitation to hang out in an instant. These days, I will consider it deeply before giving answer. Yes to family-only hang out and (sometimes) No to have-fun-with father's-friends hang out.
My parents also seems to get bored already by me asking 'do you plan to go out today?' or 'are you going somewhere today?' everyday. Isn't that a good change? I'm the one asking. Wow. An achievement.
We went to a festival event last night. It was also the one my friend recommended before and it's a huge event, she said. It is. And I was happy going there. I feel so light the burden on my shoulder and mind is lifted. Even though my mother could be such a pain in the ass with all her nagging and complaint because festival event literally isn't made for her. Mother doesn't like walking a lot. Meanwhile father and I could walk from one end to the other end without feeling grumpy all the time.
One reason why my father and I like to attend festival event like this. We could take the brochure from booths for free.
I'm not one to capture a moment or situation I'm in. That's my father's job. He captures everything he sees that worth the phone memory capacity, I don't. I see, I capture them in my head, and that's it. Even though most of the time the memory will fade away (that's what cameras are for here).
But last night, I felt like capturing everything and I did. Surprisingly. Maybe because of the views, or situation, why does it matter. In the end, I saved more that 50 pictures and even though some of them are a blur pictures I have no intention to delete them. They all look beautiful I feel like a professional photographer even though I know camera filter took a big part on it. Lol.
When we're arrived we were greeted by a bunch of marching band kids in the middle of the streets, they're cute. And I it excited me already when I saw those flags. It was almost maghrib so, the sun set.
And so I insisted that I want to get inside of the place which my parents couldn't reject and so we tried to barged in the main gate but the security said only VIP visitors could enter through this gate but we used 'we want to pray maghrib' as an excuse so we got in, haha (not lying tho, it was almost maghrib time).
And yay for me for getting this perfect spot to take the flags picture.
It was already dark when we were done praying. And when I thought that we won't be seeing anything much at night, I was wrong. We could actually see a lot more beautiful lights in the night. And I couldn't help not to capture them. My phone almost ran out of memory capacity because I took a lot.
These are one of my favorite take.
My favorite corner, drawing art corner :3
I felt the happiest when I found them LOL. My superhero.
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| :D |
The stamp on my thin hand
I like this calmer side
Blur pictures that I refuse to delete cuz they look dreamily pretty :c
I LOVE ALL THESE LIGHTS
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| lol wth |
Basically what the event is called
Another flags. I love this flag rows along the festival street
And LOL, me taking a quick absurd selfie in the middle of the crowds. idek. It just felt like it won't be 'afdol' without one self photo. I didn't even try to make a proper one. But anyway, when do I?
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| I want to take a picture under this star but I didn't :c |
I don't know where to share these photos. I kind of want to spam on my socmed but my high self-consciousness feel too occupied on what would people think of me spamming photos taken by an amateur.
So I posted it here. And also as the sign of my current condition after several months of deep self-thoughts. Not something serious. But I was having a quite huge internal conflict and I almost ran away from the thought again. But I didn't, and made a choice. It was all settled and good.
The thought of taking the wrong step is undeniably keep haunting, but I think I need to start stop thinking about that and make sure that I choose the right step.
I'm not someone to ask for someone's assurance so I have to assure myself alone. I'm gonna find out if that would work or not.
And keep this current feeling and condition this way.
Meg.
