Send A Text To Yourself 5 Years Ago

Makassar, Dec, 6^th 2015

07:13

I read some articles on korean’s article translation blog this morning. Something that I always do the moment I wake up. It’s like reading newspaper in the morning with a cup of tea. The difference is that I read it with half-opened eyes, messy hair, oily face, and body still stuck on the bed. Yeah. 

There’s one article this morning that sparked my interest. You can see it here. The title is ‘Send A Text To Yourself 5 Years Ago’. This is a discussion kind of thing. Like someone choose a topic, a common or rare topic, and netizens give their opinion or share experience about the topic. I always like this kind of article. We can find that some of the comments are so relatable to us, some of them are crazy as hell, confusing, unpredictable, hard to believe, awesome, etc. You will find someone shared their experience and you’ll be amazed by that, terrified, disgusted, touched, and so on. It’s fun to read something different from others perspective. 

Some of the comments from this article are making me sad. For example that ‘Do not let your wife and kids ride on the taxi’. This words could hint about an accident, right? Like this person tried to warn himself 5 years ago to tell his beloved ones not to take taxi because an accident will happen. I feel sorry. 

And also that one about fire accident. ‘In 2 years, there will be a fire report at a green house at 3AM. It will not look like there are people but check again. There will be a young girl hiding under the bed’. What do you think happened to that young girl?

And one of the netizen commented, ‘January 3, 2014, midnight. Your dad doesn’t have an upset stomatch. Call an ambulance’. I don’t want to know what happened to his father. 

But there are also funny comments that made me smiling in amusement. Like ‘It doesn’t look cool to write lyrics on Facebook status!!!’. Hahaha that’s so relatable, that was me :’) . Or ‘You can’t hold your poop on October 12, 2012’. :) :) :).‘It’s OK to walk out of the wedding!’, something embarrassing must have happened, lol. And also ‘Ciel Phantomhive isn’t a real person... start crushing on a real person.. like So Ji Sub’, I was once obsessed with Sasuke Uchiha... 

And that lottery ticket one, haha. 

Some of them also made me asdfghjkl because I can relate so much. Like ‘You will be too emotionally invested in korean boys dancing in sync, but that’s not the problem. You should speak up more and stop being such an awkward pickle’, well yeah.. talking about future. ’11 May 2012, dont come home late. Your cat is suffering and wont make it pass 10 pm’, :(. 

Highlight to ‘Don’t study last minute, the last time we had an exam I still did it anyway. 

Reading this discussion makes me want to list all of those things I want to tell to myself 5 years ago. Because honestly theres SO MUCH TO TELL and I would like to text her advices if it’s possible.My old self was suffering a lot and suffering even more now. God will punish me for this. Mom always tell me to love ourselves and take care of our selves because God will be angry if we don’t. 

So like, if only we could turn back the time I would’ve warned myself before something bad happened. But it’s not possible. So I’ll just list them down and text my old self later when an ability or a way to connect with older generation is available. We never know science and its shits.

Send Text To Yourself 5 Years Ago

1)        Please eat a lot, take care of your body.

2)        Don’t tell your bestfriends you have a crush on one of your classmate at course.

3)        It’s okay to not follow what your parents tell you to do, it’s okay to be against them.

4)        Stop following your crush.

5)        Take social class, don’t follow your parents wish.

6)        In 4 years you will have a crush on someone four years older than you and you’ll embarrass yourself a lot.

7)        Don’t read in a sleep position and in a dark place, wearing glasses is horrible.

8)        Raise your hand if you want to answer a question or voice out an opinion, don’t be afraid.

9)        In 2011, you’ll get a second chance to registered in your favorite high school, take it. 

10)     You’ll find Kpop in 2011 and you’ll fucked.

11)     Be pretty.

12)     Don’t lose your contest ceritificates, I warn you.

13)     Finish your writings and publish it, make people appreciate you.

14)     Take your second chance to join SBMPTN in 2015, don’t miss it.

15)     You’ll be in biology class doing exam and you’ll take your friend’s paper and copy her answers in the last minute and you’ll collect your paper without hers and the teacher won’t accept her paper anymore when she frantically begged the teacher to accept it. Apologize to her.

That’s not all of them, but ¼ of all are revealed. People full of regrets, so am I. But something like discovered korean music is not something that I’m really regret at. It’s a blessing, honestly. We live in a place where people think that those who listen to kpop are alay and those who listen to western music are cool as fuck. That was me before I found kpop. And seems like I got karma. But it’s a beautiful karma, excuse you. Listen to other type of music other than westerns and get to know people with the same taste of music teach me how to think more open about music and human race. I’m not an music expert but it helps me expand my music dictionary, how music is not always about language, what’s more important is how you get the feels of what the singer try to tell you through their music, how you could enjoy the music even though you still don’t understand the meaning of the song, and there are many talented people in Asia who could compose and produce music as beautiful as the western people do, with more meaningful and deeper lyrics, and a total dedication they give to their music. I’ve found a lot. And I feel blessed for finding them. Imagine if I keep that narrow perspective of mine, I would’ve missed a lot of good things.

My once narrow perspective about Asian music was gone after I listened to Korean musics and learned many things from both the artists and fans. And I feel so thankful for that??? At least I don’t have to judge Asian music and the people again without actually know what I judge and make myself look stupid, lol.

Damn, did I just write short essay about kpop? Sorry, the spirit is on fire. I would’ve written longer but that’s not the only topic here, is it? However, that was something that I really want to say since long time ago and glad I’ve finally got time to write about it.

My 15 things that I want to text to myself 5 years ago are there. If you have one, what would that be?

Pureness In A Crowds

Makassar, November, 17^th 2015

13:22

Today in public transportation, one of my daily struggle of the day, I miserably cried mentally over my Rp. 16.000 that I wasted for lunch because after I finished eating I got a text from my friend said that afternoon class is cancelled today. I should’ve get informed earlier, I cursed at myself. And I was feeling too tired  to deal with an old woman who pressed her sleepy body on me and made me clasped between her and the car’s wall. And I couldn’t enjoy my playlist through headset because this damn driver set his songs through the speaker with max volume, making everyone outside the car could hear how horrible the songs were. And to add my suffering, it was freaking hot today despite the raining season. 

That was just something horrible that I gotta through everyday.

But then cute thing happened.

When I was silently sulked at the driver for the horrible songs he made us listen, two elementary kids hop in the car and sit in front of me. And you know what? They look, SO, CUTE!

It looked like they’re brothers. The bigger boy was bald, dark skin, and he reminded me of my old neighbor, his arm wrapped around his brother’s shoulder. And the smaller one has the same skin color as his brother,  wore his uniform cap, his uniform looked oversized on his body, and he has his hands cupped together on his lap, looking nervous. And I’m trying hard not to squeal at the very cute sight.

I always know that I  have a thing for cute little boys and sometimes that makes me feel like a pedophil. But no. I dont have that kind of feeling towards children. It’s just that I have this motherly feels whenever I saw little boys. The feeling to protect, to put them in my pocket and bring them home, and shield them from any harm in this cruel world. There’s a reason why I really want a son. Lmao. 

An old lady beside the little brother turned to them and asked the older one what grade they are now. And he said at he was in fifth grade and his brother was in first grade. 

That little information made my blood rushed with admiration at their courage to get public transpotation to go to school. Like man, I was so scared to get into public transportation alone when I was at their age. I feel proud of them. And seeing the older brother looked so protective over his little brother made my soft fragile heart felt warm. I almost teared up when the elder one took his brother on his lap when another passenger came. I could see him struggle a bit with his brother on his lap and it almost made me chuckle, he’s a good brother. 

And then he put his starting-to-get-sleepy brother back to his seat beside him. He teased his brother about him almost fell from his seat because his sleepiness  and his brother grinned at him. But then it happened again. The older one watched his brother struggled to stay awake with amusement and I smiled inwardly at that. Look at them being so cute and me being a creep for observing them like that.

 

But I couldn’t help it, these boys were precious and every little things they did were just as precious  as they were. It felt like in this cruel world, being surrounded by bad people and criminals and bad environment, they only have each other and that was enough for them. They’re small, but they could protect each other, face the bad side of the world together, and find their own happiness. 

This pure innocent kids.. I hope they grow up well. 

And I hope I could see them again next time.

Sunset and The Brunette Boy chap.2

Chapter 2 

      A girl with blonde hair stared blankly at the small building in front her.  Feeling unsure of how did she end up being in front of a small cafe that actually quite far from her actual destination that is her-usual-date-spot-with-sunset tree. She sighed. 

What is this place? 

She didn’t remember ever been in this place before, and she definitely kinda regret just discovered the cozy looking mini cafe. Yes, even from outside, it already looked cozy. The walls are mostly green painted, with some others colors here and there. It looked colorful but mostly green, and the blonde girl liked it. It has 6 horizontal vertical windows with a small entrance to the cafe separated them in between. And from those windows, the girl could see inside the cafe slightly. It all looked fancy. And the girl silently promised herself she would come here again someday. They probably has a nice cup of tea to serve. And she must have a taste. 

When she was about to turn around and heading to her usual favorite place in the world, she spotted someone from inside the cafe, walking towards the door. Oh God. She tried to assure herself that she saw the wrong person but when the person opened the door cafe and said goodbye to whoever were they inside the cafe and turned his head towards her, they both had the same look on their faces. 

“You?!” The boy shrieked. His eyes widened, mouth opened, and finger pointed towards the blonde girl. Dramatically. The blonde girl herself stared it him in disbelief, slowly grunted under her breath. This is not happening again, she thought. Feeling tired expecting what would happen next. 

After a while of a staring at each other moment, the other person spoke first. “Wow.. I feel touched.” The brunette boy, the fucking brunette boy she met yesterday let out that annoying chuckle and stepped forward to her. 

“What?” The girl asked, annoyance tinted her voice. 

The handsome boy stopped after five steps, and shrugged, “Well, you know where I’m working. And that’s quite surprising, you know.” The brunette smiled teasingly. 

“You work here?!” The girl gasped. No way. He didn’t look like someone who would work on a cafe. Well, at least yesterday he didn’t look like one. And then she realized that the brunette in front of her wore a proper clothes now. A light blue long sleeve shirt, sleeves rolled up (the blonde tried hard not to stare at those veins on his forearms) and black jeans that hugged his long legs perfectly. Also that pair of dark brown sneakers. He looked ten times more attractive in those things wrapped him. 

Where did that horrible outfit go? 

“You don’t know?” The boy’s voice made her back to her sense. “I thought you were waiting for me.” He said dumbly with his dumb face. 

“I don't!” 

“Ah, damn.” The brunette whined. “I thought you know and decide to visit me here. But you didn’t. You broke my heart there, dear friend.” He said with a fake hurted look on his face. 

The blonde haired rolled her eyes. 

Dear friend, your ass. 

“You’re so full of yourself.” She commented shortly before turned her heels to the other direction of her usual spot. Planned to just wandering around the city tonight. Her sunset wouldn’t be mad if she didn’t appear for once. 

“No, don’t leave me alone!” The boy suddenly yelled. The girl jolted and turned around quickly, looking at the brunette as if he’s crazy for saying that. 

The brunette, with his comical eyes, grinned sheepishly. He did it on purpose actually, just to make the girl give another reaction or something. But it didn’t work. He received another glare and weird look from the blonde. So he cleared his throat shyly and took his pointing hand back to his side.

“Sorry. That was spontaneous.” He said with a cute smile, hands slided into his jeans pockets. Eyes blinked, also, cutely. 

Don’t do that.

The girl shook her head slowly, “You’re so weird.” With the last weird look she threw at the boy, she turned around and continue her walk. And as expected, the boy followed her. She didn’t push him away this time. Not sure why.

“Seriously, though. Stop leaving me like that. If you keep doing that, I’ll be the one who leaving you. And you’ll regret ever ditch me like this and you’ll cry over me and my absence beside you.” Said the boy confidently with a stern voice. But the girl knew better.

Why is he so full of himself, for God’s sake.

“Then why don't you try it? Leave. See if I give a fuck.” The girl replied with  straight face.

The boy gave him a fake shocked face, and clenched his front shirt tightly in a dramatical way. 

“You don’t wanna waste a friend like me, I tell you. I’m precious. And limited.” 

The blonde girl made a ‘wtf’ face at that.

“And I came to you with an open heart. I offered you a friendship. And that’s something I rarely do, you know.” He continued with a very serious face. “So I can say that you’re lucky.” The boy ended his words with an attractive smug smile. 

Pft, haha. Please. 

Another bored look that he got from the blonde girl successfully wiped his smug smile form his face. And he pursed his lips in a thin line. Felt stupid all of a sudden.

“You really have to change your face expression, you know. It’s really starting to scared me, and people around will feel the same as me.” The boy started again. Of course he’s not giving up.

“Pft, it’s not like I care about what you and other people think about me, anyway.”

“Okay, but really. Try another expression. Your cheeks musles must’ve been stiffed by now. Please pity them, and pity me for receiving only one one kind of epression from you since the first time we met.” 

“Well, I’m sorry to my cheeks muscles and you on the behalf of my resting bitch face. But just so you know, this is permanent. No can do about it. Sorry to disappoint.” She said, tried to muster her best fake sorry expression. But it came out emotionless. 

“No no no no no no” The boy shook his head in disagreement. “Listen to me, my friend. We have at least five universal expressions. Happy, sad, angry, fear, disgust. And any other thousand different expressions. Shocked, confusion, speechless, amazement, boredom, amusement, pity, and many more. We can change one expression to another expression in a second. We can even mix two expressions at the same time! And that’s awesome! And always good for me to see. Since I like observing people. So you saying your resting bitch face is permanent is definitely wrong! Invalid! Unacceptable! Everyone needs to show as many as expressions they can make to show what they feel. That perception of yours needs to be changed. We gotta change that. If you say that you only have that one boring expression on your face, then you must be a robot.” The boy ended his fiery speech with lame conclusion. But he seemed satisfied with it. Judged by his smug grin plastered on his attractive face and an obvious anticipation to get a respond from the latter. 

But the girl remained the same expression, blank. Looking at him like he just said something really stupid with that stupid face of him. 

After a moment of silence, the blonde chuckled emotionless while ducked her head down. And then shook her head slightly and stared back at the boy.

“Well maybe you’re right. I’m a robot. I just never know about it all this time. Maybe I should thank you for telling me this?” She asked in a playful tone with an almost unnoticed smirk on her face, and the brunette groaned momentarily. 

“That’s not the point!!” He exclaimed desperately. Face expression in disbelief. And the girl tried hard not laugh at that, because it looked funny. 

“Well, sorry then. I’m not that smart to understand your smart and impressive talk.” She shrugged carelessly. And looked around her to see that they just arrived in a huge park in town. There were many people there, and she sighed at that. She hated being in a crowds. Not to mention being in a crowds with a stranger beside her. An attractive one. 

They must’ve looked like an arguing couple right now. 

She didn’t even know where the idea of looking like a couple coming from. 

 “Okay, okay. Forget about it.” The said boy interrupted her thought. “Actually don’t forget about it, but forget it for now. Now let’s get into the interesting part.” He said cheerfully.

Like this conversation couldn’t get more interesting. 

“Wow, and I must be curious about the interesting part, I assume? Well, tell me about it, brown head. I couldn't hide this overwhelming excitement to know what it is. Woo.” She replied sarcastically with a mocking face. 

The brunette clapped his hands, “There.. there you gotta learn, woman. You’re not gonna call me brown head because that’s ridiculous and we’re going to have to grab some foods here and doing some attachment and a fun chit chat.” The brunette said, smiled genuinely at her.

The girl frowned, “Attachment?”

“Uh-oh” The latter nodded.

“And what exactly is that?” 

The brunette’s smile became wider at her question and the girl mentally asked herself what did she get herself into. 

“First thing first, let’s have some foods. Because I’m starving, and I know you too. Don’t think that I didn’t hear your stomatch growling because I do. So let’s get our stomatch full. Come on.” He exclaimed excitedly and motioned her to walk first. 

“I didn’t say I wanna join.” She said in annoyance, feeling embarrassed that the boy actually could hear her stomatch growl when she thought it was unnoticable. 

The brunette rolled his eyes, “Oh, for God’s sake, stop with the rejection. I never say you have choices here. You’re coming with me, and you’re not gonna say no. Come on.” He suddenly grabbed her left wrist and that made the blonde jumped in surprise. What the-

“Don’t touch me!” She snapped angrily and swatted his grip around her wrist. 

The brunette gaped in realization. He let go of her wrist, and look at her with guilty face, “Oh yes, sorry. Space, privacy, I know. I got it. Sorry.” He said sincerely, hands up in a surrender gesture. That was something that he really shouldn't do. 

He motioned her again to walk first.

The blonde huffed before hesitantly headed towards a hamburger truck under a big tree across the park. She didn’t know why she let herself being controlled by this guy. For God's sake, he was just a stranger. They're strangers. She should’ve ran and go to her favorite spot in town and have a date with her sunset. But in the past hour she spent with the brunette guy, she didn’t even remember about the shooting sunset date anymore. A tiny part in her heart enjoyed this boy's company. Of course that wasn't something she wants to admit. And suddenly she felt like she has betrayed her sunset. She has betrayed the only thing that keeps her calm down from all of her misery in life every day. She betrayed her sunset with this attractive brunette guy.

My sunset... 

“You must be really starving to make you choose Big Mac.” The brunette’s deep voice behind her startled her. She back from her thought and realized that they already stood in the line, ready to order. 

King Size Burger, she read the sign on the truck.

Damn it. 

Way to embrass yourself again.

She decided to ignore his tease and waited for their turn to order.

In twenty minutes, they finally got their meals ready and found a place to sit. A spot under a shady maple tree that quite far from the crowds. The girl already told the brunette that she didn’t really like being in a crowds. 

They enjoyed eating their burgers in silence and watched some kids played, ran here andthere happily, the parents tried to keep an eye on their kids while having a fun chit chat together. Some families were having their own games and laughing and screaming in joy together. The blonde girl watched them in awe, wondering how they could do that. 

“So,”

For the nth times today, the brunette brought her back to her sense. She obviously daydreamed a lot, and the brunette boy sensed that she had a lot of things in mind.

The blonde girl turned to him, giving him questioning look. And the boy gave him a curious look. 

“What’s your name?” 

===========================

  

Chapter 2!!!!

This story was originally planned to be a one-shot. But I decided to divide it into parts because.. Just because. Haha. And well, there's gonna be a part three, lol. Yesterday I told myself that it'll gonna be a two-shot. But for some reasons, I need to make it longer.

I'm suck at making a short story, honestly. It's hard for me to write a short story without feeling like there's some information missing. So I need to add it, and add again, add again, until I decided that this story is too long to be wrapped in a one-shot. So that's why chaptered story is easier for me. 

I don't know how many people actually read this, or at least, ever visited my blog. But whoever does, I hope you like my story and other posts that I have here. And I will be very happy if you let me know, to be honest, haha. 

And about this chapter, it's a shitty one. The plot is kinda messy, and slow, to me. And about the boy character, I don't know about you but I realized that he's a bit pushy for a stranger, and act like he knows everything about the girl. But there will be an explanation for that. Probably in next chapter. If I have time, I will edit this one later. And I know it's kinda boring because of the unknown characters, but I found many fiction with unknown characters like this, and I kind of want to try it too. So that makes it like this. 

But name will be revealed soon!! I promised.

Anyway, Thank you for whoever read this :)